Fight
by tinycandi2000
Summary: Olivia gets pregnant, but she isn't sure who the father is. Will she keep the baby? ... Sequel to Big Brother. PLEASE NOTE: This was started back in 2005 when Elliot and Kathy had split. It is now AU because in this story, they never reconciled.
1. Chapter 1

Title: Fight

Author: tiny  
Summary: Olivia gets pregnant, but she isn't sure who the father is. Will she keep the baby? ... Sequel to Big Brother.  
Spoilers: none  
Disclaimer: svu belongs to someone who is not me.  
A/N: Dates don't correlate with the show…just needed a timeline. And thanks to my beta: Broem!

CHAPTER 1

SUNDAY, FEBRUARY 13, 2005

Olivia sat on the bathroom floor. She stared down at the test she had just taken. The directions said to wait three minutes before reading the result, but it was pretty obvious as the liquid moved across the stick that two lines were forming. She could wait three minutes, but there were still going to be two lines.

She wasn't very surprised. The thought that she could be pregnant first entered her mind about a week ago when she started feeling nauseous. It would start in the morning and would last most of the day. Her breasts started to hurt, and she started to feel some cramping. She assumed it all meant her period was coming. But when a week went by without it, she pretty much knew what was going on.

Olivia bought the test on her way home from work Friday, but it took a couple days before she found the courage to take it. She knew what it would say, but until she took it she was able to hold on to what little hope there was that this wasn't happening. She couldn't deny it now.

Not wanting to look at it anymore, Olivia tossed the stick into the trashcan beside the toilet. She stood up slowly, hoping it wouldn't make her feel sick again. Unfortunately, the movement was not kind to her. She made her way across the small apartment to the kitchen. She poured herself a glass of water and grabbed the box of Saltine crackers.

She sat down on the couch and took small bites of a cracker. It helped, but it certainly wasn't working miracles for her. She still couldn't believe she had gotten herself into this mess. Not only was she pregnant; she didn't even know who the father was. She never thought she'd be the kind of person to do such a thing, sleep with two men just within twenty four hours of each other. But it wasn't like she had planned it that way.

She had a lot of fun with Carsen. However, the only thing it really consisted of was hot sex. Carsen didn't really have much "staying" potential. They just didn't have that kind of connection. They were both devoted to their jobs and just needed something to mix it up a bit. They had talked about it the first night they'd gone out. Neither of them had any intention of starting a relationship; that's just not what they were looking for.

A few weeks ago, Olivia had called Carsen to come over for dinner. Neither of them had been hungry for anything other than each other. She attacked him as soon as he walked through her door. It was intense and exactly what they both needed after a long day at work. Of course, while they were having their fill of each other, Olivia had forgotten about the spaghetti on the stove. They weren't actually hungry in the first place, so they decided to just call it a night.

The next morning Olivia had to drag herself out of bed and head into work. It ended up being a long day. All four detectives spent the entire time perusing through files. They were trying to find similarities between their two most recent rapes and other open cases. It was draining, and by the end of the day, they all needed a break. They decided to head out for drinks and a bit of pool.

Olivia was wasting her coworkers at the pool table when she saw Carsen walk in. Immediately she felt uncomfortable. No one knew about Carsen, and she didn't exactly want to open herself up to the scrutiny of her "big brothers." But she didn't want to blow Carsen off either. So she flirted a bit and played it off casually. Even so, she could tell that Elliot was especially jealous of the attention she had shown Carsen that night.

Olivia felt she had sufficiently made it up to him. Elliot was trying to do the noble thing and walk his inebriated partner back to her building. She wasn't surprised when he followed her to her apartment. What she didn't expect, however, was making love to him.

Once they got into her apartment, Olivia had gone into her bedroom to change her clothes, while Elliot rummaged through her medicine cabinet looking for the aspirin. She walked out and saw Elliot sitting on the couch with the pills and two glasses of water. They talked for quite awhile. Elliot had asked dozens of questions about Carsen. She noticed the jealousy she'd seen at the bar was still there.

Olivia wondered if the sex had stemmed from Elliot's jealousy. She had seen hints of jealousy before, but usually it was in the form of protectiveness. And a lot of times, Elliot would try to cover it up with some teasing. But that night there was none of that. For the first time, he had actually seen her with another man. He had watched her flirt with someone else. And he knew that other man was getting something that he wasn't, something that he wanted.

The sex was passionate and filling, everything that her sex with Carsen hadn't been. She didn't regret her time with Carsen; it served a very good purpose. However, it certainly wasn't like making love to Elliot. And after that night, she just didn't feel like she could go back to Carsen.

But the sex with Elliot never happened again either. They never even discussed what had taken place at her apartment that night. It was like a silent understanding between them. It had been wonderful, but anything more could never be a possibility. They valued both their friendship and their partnership at work too much to let it all go for the possibility of a romantic relationship.

She still couldn't understand how it had happened. She'd used condoms with each of them. Olivia had sex so infrequently that she didn't waste the money on birth control. Now she was beginning to think it probably would have been worth it. She hadn't noticed any leaks or tears in the condoms.

Olivia shook her head. What might have happened with the condoms was pretty irrelevant at this point. What she had to figure out now was what the hell she was going to do about it.


	2. Chapter 2

Title: Fight

Author: tiny  
Summary: Olivia goes to her first doctor appointment.

Disclaimer: they still aren't mine.

CHAPTER 2  
MONDAY, FEBRUARY 14, 2005

Olivia woke up late, shortly before 8am. Her head was pounding. She hadn't gotten much sleep the night before. Most of it had been spent in the bathroom. She ate a cracker before grabbing the phone to call Cragen. There was no way she'd make it to work in time, even if she did feel up to going. She only told him that she was sick and gave no more in the way of an explanation. That could wait for another day.

She padded into the kitchen to grab her address book. She thumbed through until she found the phone number for her gynecologist's office. Her hand shook as she dialed the number. Olivia rolled her eyes, not amused with the fact that she was nervous about scheduling a damn doctor appointment.

"Women's Health Associates, this is Lisa. How can I help you?"

"My name is Olivia Benson. I need to schedule an appointment."

"Okay. Which doctor do you see?"

"Sinclair."

"Well, it looks like he had a cancellation this afternoon. Can you be in by 1:00?"

Shit. She was hoping she'd have a few days before she had to face reality. "Sure."

"Okay, I'll put you down. See you then."

Olivia's stomach growled as she sat the phone down on the counter. She knew she was going to be sick if she didn't eat something for breakfast. There wasn't anything in the refrigerator that sounded appealing but she settled on toast and orange juice. She noticed that drinking juice in the morning helped calm her stomach.

After breakfast and a long bath, she got dressed and headed out. She stopped at the deli around the corner from the doctor's office for lunch. She had already come to the conclusion that if she let herself get too hungry, it would make her nauseous so she ordered a sandwich and iced tea. It seemed to hit the spot. She figured the rest of the nausea she felt was probably from being nervous.

When she got to the doctor's office she was still a bit early. After checking in, she sat and flipped through the pages of a magazine. But her mind was elsewhere. She still couldn't believe this was really happening; it was like she was living in some sort of alternate universe.

She glanced over at a woman sitting across the room. Olivia assumed it was her husband who was sitting next to her. The woman held a sleeping baby in her arms. Olivia could tell the woman was much younger than herself. The couple appeared very content as they smiled at their tiny baby. She couldn't help but feel a twinge of jealousy.

She had no idea what she was doing. She had never intended to have children. She just didn't think she was cut out to be a mother. She was basically married to her job, and it didn't lend a lot of time to being at home. It was more than just a job to her, though. Being an SVU detective defined who she was.

None of her options really sounded that appealing. Obviously she questioned her abilities to raise a child. She wasn't even sure that she wanted to raise a child, much less if she was capable of doing so. Regardless, she didn't think she could give the child up for adoption. She had resolved to the fact that she would likely never know the identity of her father. She didn't want another child to have the same sort of conflict that she had faced through the years. Her mind was leaning toward having an abortion. It just seemed like the logical choice for her life.

Her father, whoever he was, committed a violent crime against her mother. All her life she had struggled with who she was or who she might be because of that. And her mother was a drunk. Even when Serena happened to be sober, she still didn't set a good example as a mother. Olivia didn't know the first thing about being a parent, but she figured the learning curve was probably not in her favor. All she could do was imagine all the ways she could possibly screw up her child.

"Olivia Benson?"

She looked up hesitantly from the magazine she wasn't reading. This was it.

"So what can we do for you today?" the nurse asked as Olivia sat in the exam room.

"Umm... well I think I might be pregnant."

"Alright, I'll have you go into the restroom for a urine sample. There are cups on the shelf by the sink. We'll do a test and find out for sure, okay?"

Olivia nodded and did as the nurse instructed. Her hand trembled as she tried to hold the cup steady. Although she already knew what the test was going to tell her, she couldn't help but feel nervous. After she was finished, she walked back to the small room and handed the cup to the nurse.

"Alright, I'll be right back."

About ten minutes later, the nurse walked back into the room and congratulated her. Yet more proof that this wasn't a horrible dream.

"So? Pregnant, huh?" asked Dr. Sinclair as he walked into the room.

Unable to form words, Olivia just nodded.

"Not exactly the news you were hoping for?" She shook her head.

"So? What do you want to do?" he asked.

Olivia sighed and shook her head. She was so confused. "I'm not really sure yet."

The doctor rested his hand on her shoulder in hopes to calm her down a little. "I tell you what? Why don't we go ahead and examine you and draw labs, then we can take it from there, okay?" Olivia nodded.

"Okay, do you know when your last menstrual period was?" Dr. Sinclair asked as he held what looked to be some sort of circular chart.

"Um? I think January 8th," she replied.

The doctor moved the dial around a bit. "It looks like your due date is October 15th. So that makes you…" he paused and squinted his eyes to see the fine print. "…five weeks and two days."

She nodded, but she didn't really know what that meant. She was still trying to grasp the idea of two lines on the stick.

After the pelvic exam and blood work, Dr. Sinclair discussed the things she should watch for, things she should avoid and various other concerns during pregnancy. He suggested that she call the office if she had any questions.

"Now I want you to make an appointment with the front desk for next month. The second appointment isn't as involved as this one, but we still want to check on how you are doing," he said as he handed her the paperwork. He lowered his voice as he continued, "but if you decide not to show up for the second appointment, I'll understand."


	3. Chapter 3

Title: Fight

Author: tiny  
Summary: Olivia collapses at work and Elliot drives her to the hospital.

Disclaimer: not. mine.

CHAPTER 3

FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 18, 2005

It had been another long night. Olivia didn't really remember much aside from staring into the toilet until she finally just fell asleep on the bathroom floor. She threw up until there was nothing left. Then she had the dry heaves. She couldn't decide which was worse. She hated throwing up but at least there was a little bit of reprieve when she was done. Even if it was just for a short time, at least she felt better.

She wanted to call Cragen and tell him that she wasn't coming in, but she knew that wasn't a possibility. It was rare for her to miss work. So if she started taking off, people were going to start to wonder what was going on. And Olivia desperately wanted to keep this situation quiet.

She tried to reassure herself that it would all be over soon. She had called earlier in the week and made an appointment for Monday at the clinic. She didn't feel good about the decision she was making, but she felt it was the only decision she could make. There were just too many reasons why she couldn't continue with the pregnancy.

It was not like this was planned or even expected. There was no relationship to create a family from, and she wasn't cut out to be a single mother. She may have been an independent woman, but raising a child was a completely different realm of life which she wasn't well-prepared for.

She wished she could make the choice to give the child up for adoption, but there were so many things holding her back. Olivia grew up never truly knowing where she came from. Half of who she was...was missing from her life. And what she did know of her genes, it didn't offer to ease her mind at all. It had taken her many years to come to terms with her identity and sense of self. She didn't want to put a child through that. And open adoption didn't seem much better. She imagined that would bring to light just as many questions.

And for selfish reasons, it was just out of the question. She'd have to disclose the name of the child's father, which could only be determined by a paternity test. There was no way she intended to step into that trap. Regardless of what kind of person that made her out to be, she wanted to stay as far away from that issue as possible.

Olivia breathed a heavy sigh. She didn't want to think about it anymore. She picked herself up off the floor and got into the shower. The hot water ran over her body and helped to soothe her nerves. She'd come to realize that, lately, showering was her favorite part of the day.

After the shower, she stared into the mirror above the sink. Her face looked pale and tired. She just didn't have the energy to take the time to hide it. She opted for some lip gloss and just threw her hair into a ponytail. It didn't matter what she did; it wasn't going to change how she felt anyway.

Once she arrived at the squad, everyone was already busy with work. She grabbed a glass of water and sat down at her desk. She knew she probably wouldn't drink it though. It seemed even water didn't sit well with her anymore.

She tried to concentrate as her fellow detectives briefed their captain on the Corrigan case. So far there wasn't much to tell. The case had turned into an ugly he-said-she-said battle. Even the detectives were unsure who to believe at this point. They all agreed that the guy was an asshole, but so far they didn't have a smoking gun to nail him for raping his girlfriend.

Olivia could feel her stomach churning again. If she left the room right now, everyone was going to notice. She knew she was going to have to wait it out a little while. But the more she sat there, the worse she felt. Her face was getting warm and she was beginning to feel dizzy. She was starting to panic, but she couldn't decide what she needed to do about it.

Elliot looked over at his partner. He noticed she wasn't paying attention and her breathing seemed a bit erratic. "Liv? You okay?"

She could only manage a slight nod. She decided to try to make it to the bathroom after all, but as she stood the room began to spin. Elliot managed to move just in time to catch her before she fell to the floor.

"Olivia, are you alright?" he asked again. As she regained consciousness, she pushed away from Elliot who backed off a bit to give her some space.

"I'm fine. I just don't feel very well."

"Do you want us to call a bus?" Cragen asked, already knowing the answer.

"No, really, I'll be fine."

Cragen glanced over at Elliot, who didn't seem convinced either. "Well, I would feel better if a doctor checked you over to make sure everything is fine."

"I'll even drive you," Elliot offered.

Reluctantly, she agreed. She'd never admit it to her coworkers, but she was a bit worried herself.

"You doing alright?" Elliot asked as he started the sedan. "You look like shit."

"Gee thanks, Elliot." She rolled her eyes. "I just don't feel well. I'm sure it's nothing."

"Yeah. Right."

"What is that supposed to mean?" she snapped back.

"What? Nothing! What'd I say?"

She stared at him for a moment. Perhaps he wasn't intending to be so condescending about it. "Nothing. Sorry. I'm just tired."

The rest of the drive was quiet. Once they got to the hospital the conversation in the car was already forgotten. Olivia filled out some paperwork, and a nurse came to get her shortly thereafter.

"Do you want me to come with you?"

"No!" she said, hurriedly. He gave her a puzzled look and she continued. "Elliot, I'm a big girl. I can do this by myself."

He smiled and gave her a shrug. "Alright. I'll just wait here then."

Olivia followed the nurse. She was glad to be away from Elliot for awhile. It was too unnerving to be around him, all things considered. There was no way she could tell him what was going on, so having him here with her made it even more uncomfortable.

"Well, you have a slight temperature, and your blood pressure is low. Have you been sick at all?"

"Umm. Well I'm pregnant. I've been pretty sick most of the time."

"Have you been able to keep much food or liquid down?" Olivia shook her head.

"Alright. Well, the doctor is going to want to run a urinalysis and complete blood count but you're probably dehydrated."

After the tests were completed, the nurse started Olivia's IV to put liquids back into her system. They also gave her a shot of Phenergan to help with the nausea. The doctor had even offered to write her a prescription for something she could take to keep the morning sickness at bay. She didn't tell him that she probably wouldn't need it much longer.

"Now, this will make you very sleepy. Is your husband still here to drive you home?"

"My what? Oh, he's not my husband. That's my partner. I'm a detective," she clarified after the initial shock.

"I apologize," the nurse said with a smile. "Here are your discharge papers. I'll get you a chair and let him know you're ready to go home."

The nurse was right. The medication did make her sleepy. The entire drive, she struggled to remain awake. She didn't even complain as Elliot held her arm and helped her up to her apartment. She was so worn out, it was all she could do to muster the strength to fall into bed. Elliot tucked her in and walked back to the kitchen table. He took her discharge papers and prescription out of his pocket and sat them down. However something on the paper caught his eye.

"Follow-up with your OB."


	4. Chapter 4

Title: Fight

Author: tiny  
Summary: Elliot confronts Olivia about the pregnancy.   
Disclaimer: blah they're not mine blah

CHAPTER 4

FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 18, 2005

Elliot agonized over the few simple words that stared back at him from the piece of paper he held in his hands. He had been sitting there for almost two hours, waiting for her to wake up. He waited for an explanation, anything to ease his mind.

There were too many questions and not enough answers. The first thought to enter his mind was why he hadn't known about this before? How long had she kept it from him? He realized that they were noticeably more distant than they had been once upon a time, but he wished this—of all things—was something that she could have told him. Most of all, because he desperately wanted to know if he was involved.

Though they hadn't talked about it, he hadn't forgotten about that night they shared together. It had been on his mind from time to time ever since. And now it was all he could think about. He wondered if this...situation...could be a result of that night. His mind trailed to the prospect that the reason why she didn't tell him was because she knew that it wasn't his.

He didn't even know how to process the possibility. If she was pregnant and it wasn't his, that meant she was having a baby with someone else. For selfish reasons, the thought of that upset him. But if it were true, that meant he was off the hook.

Suddenly, he was ashamed. He felt guilty for thinking of it that way. He knew exactly what he was doing when he had sex with her, and he obviously knew the potential consequences of his actions. So seeming like he was trying to get out of a responsibility he may have to face, made him feel like an ass.

But he'd done all of this before. All of his children were almost grown. He never thought he'd have to face something like this again. After the twins were born, Kathy had her tubes tied. So it had been many years since he'd even considered the possibility of fatherhood again.

For so many reasons, he was conflicted. Given the choice, no, he didn't want to start all over again. He thought he had almost reached the end, yet now he would be starting all over. But then again, he loved his children. He couldn't imagine creating another one and not being a part of their life.

He shook his head. He could be going back and forth for no reason. This may be a situation that he isn't a part of at all. Maybe she'll just end up getting pissed off at him for butting into her personal business. Then they'll go back to just being partners and everything will be the same. Well, except that she'll be pregnant. He began to realize that nothing would be the same; it didn't matter either way.

The more he thought about it, the more frustrated he became. He didn't know what to think; he didn't know what he wanted. He needed something...anything...from her. He needed her to give him some direction for his thoughts to go.

Elliot put the paper on the table by her bed and watched as Olivia began to stir awake. He kneaded his hands together and noticed the sweat hiding in his palms.

She felt his eyes on her. She turned to find him sitting in the chair next to her bed. She sat up a bit and tried to focus in the dim light.

"Elliot, what are you still doing here?"

He looked down at his hands and then back at her. He didn't even know how to ask her.

"Why do you have to follow up with your OB?"

"What?" she asked, trying to ignore the slight panic she suddenly felt.

Elliot's expression remained unchanged as he repeated his question. "Why do you have to follow up with your OB?"

She blinked, causing gentle tears to fall from her eyes. She stared at him a few moments, and then looked away as if she was trying to hide. It didn't matter though. He knew.

"Are you pregnant?"

It was a question, but sounded more like a statement with a hint of uncertainty. Or maybe it was a little bit of hope that he might be wrong. But with a slight nod, Olivia confirmed his fears.

Elliot rubbed the back of his neck with a shaky hand. "How far along?"

She new what he was doing; he was trying to figure out if the dates matched.

"About 6 weeks."

Just as she expected, he remained silent as he searched through his memory for the time it'd been since that night.

"I can't do this," she breathed.

"Can't do what?"

She stared at him for a moment but she couldn't say it. She got up and walked to the bathroom, pulling the door closed behind her.

He waited about five minutes before he followed her. He could only stand there so long and listen to her cry on the other side of the door. He slowly turned the knob and opened the door. He found Olivia leaning against the bathtub, her head in her hands.

Her wet eyes met his and his heart broke.

"What have I done?" she cried.

Elliot walked over to her and joined her on the floor. He draped his arms around her and pulled her close to him. They sat there for quite awhile before her soft voice broke the silence.

"How did you know?"

"I read your discharge papers." He paused, hoping her question was an invitation for discussion. "How long have you known."

She sighed. "About a week."

"And you just weren't going to tell me?"

Olivia shrugged but didn't say anything else.

"Am…" He hesitated. "Am I the father?"

She hung her head. Her voice was barely a whisper.

"I don't know."

She could feel his muscles tense. Neither one of them spoke for a long time. They both realized the possibility was there; that she might be pregnant with his child. But, Olivia also knew there was a possibility it wasn't his baby at all.

Elliot swallowed the lump in his throat. He couldn't decide whether to be upset that it might be his, or upset that it might not be. He still didn't have any solace for the thoughts racing in his mind. "But it might be mine?"

"Yes."

He took a deep breath. "What are we going to do?"

She looked at him, eyes wide. "What do you mean? Elliot, I can't have a baby..."

"What? You mean you're seriously considering having an abortion?" he interrupted. Not only did he not agree with abortion, but this might be his child they were talking about. He thought back to when he and Kathy had gotten pregnant with Maureen. He couldn't imagine what life would have been like had they made the choice not to have her.

His mind continued to race without him. First he was trying to become acquainted with the fact that he may or may not be a father again. And now he had to rationalize that it didn't matter either way because she wanted an abortion.

"What did you expect me to do?"

Elliot shook his head. He stood and walked out of the room without answering her. She followed him and watched as he grabbed his coat and walked toward the door.

"You're just going to leave?" she asked, hurt.

"Olivia," he paused and took a deep breath. "I don't know what to say that won't hurt you."

"I want the truth," she said, trying to sound brave. Inside, she was dying.

He closed the distance between them. She looked down at his hand that was now on her stomach.

"There's a possibility that baby could be mine," he said as his voice cracked. "I love my children. It kills me to think I might have created another life…and you just want to take it away. That hurts, Liv."

Her tears slowly started to fall. But she didn't offer him any kind of consolation, no indication that she would change her mind. She just felt there were too many reasons not to have the baby. She never expected him to want this. He already had four kids who were almost grown.

He didn't expect to want it either. He hadn't even begun to process his feelings on the matter, until Olivia had already made the choice without him. Now, the thought of her not keeping the baby was just too much for him to face.

He stepped away and slipped his arms into his coat. "Law says I can't make you change your mind. So I'm just going to leave." He turned and headed for the door.

"Elliot, wait."

He stopped but didn't turn around. He hoped beyond hope that she would ask him to stay and talk about this. He wanted her to ask how he felt about everything; he wanted to know what she was thinking.

"I'm sorry."

Disappointed, he shook his head and walked out of her apartment.


	5. Chapter 5

_Title: Fight_  
_Author: tiny_  
_Summary: What will happen to their partnership now?_  
_Disclaimer: not. mine._  
_A/N: This was posted elsewhere years ago but never uploaded here. This is an OLD story (I started writing it in the time it was placed, 2005) and I haven't worked on it much since then. I can't promise it will be finished in a timely manner. _

**CHAPTER 5**

**Monday, FEBRUARY 21, 2005**

"Hey Captain?" Elliot started. "Can I talk to you for a minute?"

"Sure. What's going on?"

He shut the door and sat down across from Cragen. He rubbed his eyes with the palms of his hands as he tried to find the words. He never thought it would come to this.

"What's wrong, Elliot?"

Elliot looked back at him but said nothing. The dark circles under bloodshot eyes gave away his lack of sleep. Cragen pulled the bottle of vodka from the bottom drawer of his desk and poured a shot for the detective. He took the glass and swallowed the liquid. It burned as it went down his throat, but it was comforting. He slowly sat the glass back down on the desk.

"Olivia is pregnant," Elliot said, still fixated on the glass. He was met only with silence.

He looked up at Cragen who simply stared in return. It wasn't a blank stare. It was just silent.

"You know?"

He nodded. "Olivia called me Saturday and we talked about it."

Elliot stood and paced across the floor of the small room. He shoved his hands in his pockets and avoided Cragen's gaze.

"I need to request a new partner," he said, staring at the floor.

Cragen was a little surprised at what Elliot was asking for. He had been prepared to have to skirt around the brass with this situation. "Why do you want a new partner?"

Elliot looked back at him with glassy eyes and his jaw clenched. He swallowed hard. "That baby might be mine. But Olivia doesn't want to keep it. And I just don't know that I could forgive her for that."

He nodded. Olivia had already explained the situation to him. It didn't surprise him that Elliot wasn't taking it well. For as much as everything had fallen apart in the past year, this was pretty much just the icing on Elliot's cake of life.

"Does Olivia know that you two will no longer be partners?"

"No. I made the decision after I left her apartment. I haven't talked to her since."

Cragen sighed and wiped a hand across his forehead. "Alright. From now on you're with Fin. I'll let Munch know he's with Olivia." He let his thought trail a bit. "And I'll tell Olivia."

Elliot walked out the door as Cragen followed him. "John, can I see you for a minute," he asked motioning towards his office.

John grabbed his coffee cup and made his way across the squad room. "What's going on, Captain?" he asked, casually.

"You're going to be partnered with Benson."

"Okay. As soon as she gets here we can go talk to Corrigan's parents and see if they give us anything."

"Alright, but why don't you move the things from your desk first."

"Why would I do that?" Munch asked, peering over his glasses.

"It's a permanent switch, John."

John raised his eyebrows and waited for an explanation. Then hirtje realized that the captain obviously wasn't going to offer one. He contemplated the possibilities as he walked out of the office. Elliot was already standing beside his desk waiting for the vacancy. John eyed him suspiciously but didn't say anything. It seemed Elliot was looking a bit worse for wear so he decided to just let it go.

Olivia had spent the entire night agonizing over what Elliot had said to her. They needed to talk, she just wasn't sure that she was ready.

She walked into the squad room the next morning looking exactly like she felt. She was relieved when she didn't find Elliot sitting at the desk across from hers. Upon closer investigation, though, she realized it wasn't even his stuff on the desk. She walked around to the other side where Munch's belongings stared back at her.

"Olivia?" She spun around to find the captain looking at her intently. "Can you come into my office please?"

Reluctantly, Olivia walked in and sat down. She figured now was as good a time as any to ask for the afternoon off.

"I'm going to need to cut out early today, Captain."

He raised his eyebrows and waited for her explanation.

"Doctor appointment," she offered with a shrug.

He leaned forward and rested his elbows on his desk. "Everything alright?"

"Yeah. Fine."

"Are you feeling better than you were Saturday?"

She ignored his question. "Where's Elliot?"

"He took a call with Fin."

She was slightly annoyed. He knew what she was really asking, but he was going to make her come right out and say it.

"Why is he with Fin, Don?"

"Because he came to talk to me this morning. He requested to be assigned a new partner."

"He what?" She fought to keep her tears from escaping. "Did he say why?"

"Yes. But you know I can't tell you that. You're just going to have to talk to him about it."

She sighed and stared at her hands folded in her lap. He knew she wasn't going to talk to Elliot.

"You can take off after lunch," Cragen said as he went back to his paperwork.

"Thank you," she managed as she walked out of the office.


	6. Chapter 6

_Title: Fight_  
_Author: tiny_  
_Summary: Waiting to find out her decision was going to break him._  
_Disclaimer: I own nothing._  
_A/N: This is the last chapter I finished back when I started this story in 2005. Trying to find my voice again._

**CHAPTER 6**

**FRIDAY, MARCH 1, 2005**

Fin looked across the desk at his new partner. Clearly there was something going on between Elliot and Olivia. Fin knew it had to be something pretty serious for them to be reassigned as partners. Ordinarily he would assume that they had become involved romantically—most of the department figured that it would happen eventually. But this seemed different.

Usually if one of the guys was getting any, he'd be strutting his stuff. At the very least, he would offer up some smiles. But Elliot had become even more broody than he'd been after his divorce. Olivia and Elliot both had been avoiding each other. They certainly didn't act like two people who were getting it on after office hours.

Elliot seemed especially tense since Olivia left. He had been continually checking his watch and seemed very distracted.

"Hey man, why don't you take off? I'll finish this paperwork," Fin offered, a few minutes earlier than usual.

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah I'm sure. For the past couple hours you've been driving me crazy. It makes for a bad way to start the weekend."

Elliot gathered his things and headed for the door. "Thanks."

"Hey," Fin called back after him.

"Yeah?"

"I'm not trying to get up in your business or anything. I just hope everything's alright."

Elliot nodded and offered a small smile before he continued through the double doors.

Olivia sat on the couch, alone in the dark. She couldn't cry anymore; there were no more tears left to be cried. She knew that this wasn't the end of the world, but it was a decision that she wasn't sure she could handle.

She heard a quiet knock at the door. She knew it had to be Elliot. They needed to talk, but she didn't know if she was ready. He knocked again. She slowly walked across the room and opened the door. As she expected, Elliot was standing in front of her. His hands were shoved deep into his pockets and his head was down. When he looked up at her, tears were streaked down his face. Her heart broke.

She didn't say anything. She left the door and turned to walk back to her place on the couch.

Elliot didn't say anything as he walked into her apartment. He didn't take off his coat. He just stood there in her living room. The silence was deafening.

"Elliot talk to me," she pleaded.

"Did you go to the doctor today?"

"Yes."

"Did you..." He couldn't finish. The very thought overwhelmed him so much that he couldn't wrap his voice around the words. He turned to walk back towards the door. He no longer wanted to know; he could no longer pretend to be strong.

"I couldn't do it."

He stopped in front of the door but didn't turn around. "Why?"

"I already hate myself, Elliot. I don't want you to hate me too."

"Why? Why do you hate yourself?"

"Because I let this happen. I slept with two men and ended up pregnant. What kind of person does that make me?"

He still didn't turn around. Olivia was hoping for some sort of response. She would have taken anything at that moment. But he only offered more silence. It seemed like an eternity trapped in only a few minutes before he finally made a sound. "Goodnight, Liv."


End file.
